Life though the eyes of me

I have noticed that all my posts are negative.....have you noticed as well? Those of you....well the ONE Person that reads this. Don't get me wrong there are "happy" parts of my life.....but they are scarce and hard to come by.

I cleaned my room today, I'm suppose to be in burleson by now swimming...but I am dreading the Larry. I guess I have to suck it up and run right past him. Lemme explain the Larry. He is the guy that mymom started dateing 2 weeks after the divorce with my dad was filed, and a week after that he moved in....and oh two weeks after that they got married. The first time I met him they took me to Joes Crab Shack, and he sat there and LECTURED me about the decisions I have made in my life....IE Olivia......that makes him an ass in my eyes and well......he hasn't talked to me since. He talks to Jon my bf....like he is his son or something. One day I woke up to him hitting a quarter with a spoon. I got ready for work and stormed out of the house.....slamming the front door cause thats what I"m good at. And he goes to Jon and asks "GREAT WHAT DID I DO NOW??" DUMB ASS. I got to work 3 hours morning that night BTW.

OOk I'm done I'm hungry and wanna swim.

Bye

I need to get myself out of my head!

Honestly, I have never cared what other people think of me....still don't. I know that makes some of my friends mad and well they can shove it. Today after hanging out with 4 people I havn't seen in 2 years...reminded me...I'm still the ugly one. Nothing about me has changed personality wise...but I have gotten even uglier. All my friends have cute pictures all over their house or their myspace....not me....I suck at taking pictures...I don't look good in person and to hell if a camera is going to help me. I wish I was pretty, I wish that I could like who I am....maybe I need to listen to people, and conform into what they want....how they want me to act, what I'm "suppose" to wear....but I love being who I am.....but lately it just isn't good enough for me. When I get ready everyday....I shower...get dressed....and never once look in the mirror. I hate that thing. I started hateing it about 2 years ago after getting in a fight with a friend and them saying.... No one is ever going to marry you, I mean hell just look at you.

I hate life today. I think I may just roll over and pass out.....because good mood....has left me some time ago.

Why is so hard to be happy these days???