Another year has come and gone. Missing Olivia and my dad so much. New years Resolution, giving up carbonated beverages. Harder then I thought possible.
Fourty something days until my wedding, which I think has triggered missing the ones I love and won't be there with me more are more. My maid of honors wedding is creeping closer too, which adds stress to me... although I'm trying to keep "calm" to keep her at ease, I'm going insane myself.
I have been trying to keep positive this year hoping that faking happiness will finally catch up to me and I may feel on the inside what I've been attempting to show on the outside.
....oh and last new years resolution.... talk to my mom about why I've been pushing her away.
2 comments:
Hi Cheryl, I just read your whole blog. Your pain ripped through my heart. You put in words, what I was not able to after I lost my son to adoption. That was 30 years ago. I wish I could give you some great piece of advice, or tell you that the pain goes away. I can't do either of that at this point. Maybe it's because there is too much to say, or maybe it's because there's not enough to say. I'm not sure.
Just keep writing here on this blog. I wasn't able to do that, or talk to anyone about my pain for about 15 years, I kept it all locked away inside of me. You keep writing and talk, talk, talk, to Jon. I didn't talk to my hubby about it for 15 yrs, and it's hard on a marriage.
Keep letting it out, it's hard on your health to keep it locked inside.
I just started my new blog, I'm still working on it, I hope you will visit me sometime.
God bless you, dear girl.
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